Last Flight

I started out refueling the plane and flying away from the lack of concern between loving hearts. Now the plane have been refueled and i'm sitting alone in the departure hall waiting for time to board the plane for my last flight. To take me away from here to somewhere my past haunts me. I've got the ticket for one more day to stay off the ground. We were a part of Power3 Alliance. And i think of the things we could have avoided. Of the things we could have built.

Mighty Magnus, we all make a fool of ourselves. Relationships get ill and the screw ups we tattooed upon us. Some we tried to erase, to forget, because it brought with it too much painful memories of time we lost ourselves to passion, desire and anger. That it began to push us apart and i still find myself caught in the middle between two giants because we were a part of 3. Gone are the honest days of confession.

In time, the erased sins will leave scars that somehow still remind us of those shitty things that we direct our rage at. And we can't look into each others faces without feeling the hate we cultivate. I'm sorry we love each other, still, too. It would have been easier if we could only feel either hate or love, one at a time. This is duality and I still find myself sitting and hating our guts because I love you unconditionally.

P/s: it will be a flight for our lost alliance.

To Seek Bother

As it seems, things are moving towards a better tomorrow now. I am not that stupid. In case you've failed to notice but i've been persistent before this. Yet a certain lack of appreciation has stepped the line and made me selfishly give in to the rotten me. It was my mistake to listen to him as well as you. However, all of that are water under the bridge now.

So thanks for coming down and the slaps combo.

Will you be the hand to save me when i'm drowning?

I seem to understand things more as i realise again that if the other party never stops to take the time to listen, the person calling out will soon lose their voice and stop screaming as the pain drowns the person out. One might never give up but does one listens closely? My fragile heart was screaming in desperation for you to say you're going to help at setting things right. To make sure things will turn out okay. However, i'm drowning now. I feel like i want to disappear as i lose my voice. Disappear into the haze of sickly sweet things. I'm keeping my feet off the ground because i've never existed here on this earth.

"And all I've tried to hide
It's eating me apart
Trace this life out"

Lost

Are you lost or am i losing myself? I cannot be alone, it brings out the worst in me.

Am i running out of time or am i at the starting line?
I know i've missed the mark
Yet i just need some sort of sign.

Keyword: Was

Work was great.
Great seeing you.

Thinking

I remember how you used to say a little more things than you do nowadays. A little more things that made my day. A little more things that put me at peace especially when i whined about losing you once i got drafted into service for my country. The littlest things like, "Stop thinking too hard. Cause if there's someone who's supposed to do the thinking, it's gonna be me and not you. You shouldn't have to because it's not your job to do that. I'm the one who should be thinking & worrying bout it..not u."

By the way, my blood buddy is in KL now. Alone. Running away from problems back here in SG. They won't solve themselves, my dear. You need to put in work but if you think it's best to have some time to yourself in another country. Then all i've got to say is take good care of yourself. I know you've got a thousand over and that probably means you'll be there for quite some time. But do ring me up once you're home.

P/s:Do you still think & worry for me, My Tempest? Because my brains thinking too much now.

The Bitterest Pill

I am in love with a problem. So is it actually my fault if i'm still a prisoner of doubts & fears? Yes, My system has taken in several types of chemical before and none are like the one i'm putting in me now. This is the bitterest pill yet but i've probably faced crappier side effects. However, this pill might prove fatal and i've actually been thinking if i should kill myself. Metaphorically, i suppose. And despite the fantastic high i'm raving in. I'm also taking too big a bite here and should i go through with this, it may spell my own end but i want to go down with this like a fool. Because fools have more fun.

On a brighter note, i've got a date with tempest later. And i've not yet decided what to wear and if i'll be bringing a bag along. I don't wish to cripple the date but i want things to be right so we could be beautiful. Lastly, You've been missed by the fuckloads, stupid girl. Wished you had a clue.