Complications Galore

I do not know how to explain the forearm cramps, the stomach aches, the headaches, the toss and turn moments. Maybe i do but i won't put it down here. Things have gotten a tad more complicated than expected.

Like Miss Lang said "Sometimes you have to expect the unexpected or lower the expectations." But for these turn of events, i say that we should have expected more.

keywords: D.O.A

Friday Morning

So i've decided to log in just to post this.

i can't get any sleep and it is already 7.15 in the morning despite the fact that i've only had 2hours sleep the night before. Right now there's this purple train of random thoughts passing through 'mind' station. Thoughts like how i wish things are like the way it was.(ade sidekick pon tkleh tolong save hero)

And the spell has yet to wear off. Certain signals being contradicted by words and actions.('no actions' will be much more fitting though) Like things are going back to square 1 when "simpulan binte simpulan", herself fear that we have to go back to the start. It was kind of my favourite part but not the way it is going now.

well. take care dudes and dudettes. kudos, world.

love,
joji boy

Empty Spaces

Maybe discreetly i like you but i'm always uncertain if i actually like your company or i like the person, herself. Perhaps i do want you, at least in a sense or two. The thing is will you want me too? Or we'll just agree that there is a line we draw between us. Maybe I'm just missing you. ALOT.

Ok. I do miss her! And I'm always free and floating about with no sense of life or direction. Well, i don't care actually because i've always been a wandering vessel anyway why should i care if you don't. I'm not that desperate. If i do mean something in her life she'll call to make plans or say hi, the least. (ouuh but she is sooo very busy nowadays, watching soccer matches)

I find myself staring blankly at ceilings and green painted walls thinking about thoughts of you going away. Yes, i'm sorry that i was totally tired too talk things out with you the other time. and if i do talk, i wouldn't know where to start.(disturbing right?)

I really would like to know where this post will take us. *fidgeting with anticipation*

Retrieving Intel

As time rolls over realisation will kick in. Her actions are being broken down into accessible information for me. She does not seem to be good in my heart anymore which appears to be a bad sign but changes is the way it is.(i hate changes. no need to mention) The relationship is good and still fresh in my throbbing heart.(or whatever it is/was. like i said i'm lost so don't ask if it is 'is or was'.)
but Pipi, it's okay. I love you, anyway.

:!codebreaker system activate!

and i really gotta thank Mighty Magnus because we're having an art session tonight. I really need it after a long while of keeping myself away from pencils, pens, paper and even books. Love you, peq. muah.