If I ain't right, I'm glad

I've always been right when it comes to "love" and the what-nots. So far my instincts have never lied to me. However, at this moment when things are going so wonderfully well despite the occasional playful banter, my gut feelings are telling me that something somewhere somehow will fuck up the whole blitheful escape.

Deardear, I want to be wrong. I pray to be wrong. At least for this time around. And if i'm right, then i guess, it is really up to you to prove me wrong.

Hold My Hand

In the final hour before i am reintegrated with my true lycan being. I said a small prayer.

Dear Allah swt,
I've been immersing myself in negligence. Yet, You are always there for me. Unfailing in saving me from my ugly self. I may have not been aware of Your presence lately despite the fact that i know You are closer to me than my heart. I'm sorry but i have failed You once again. I ask myself what have i done for you. Time and time again i find no fast answer to that question. Long has it been since i last held my palm skywards and ask from You. Long has it also been since i last kiss the earth You bless us with at each of the 5 significant timings of the day. I'm sorry. Please forgive my self-indulgence and take me by my hand and guide me along the right path. I need You most now that there will no longer be foreign authority over my careless self.

Amin.

"i declare that there is no deity but the one true god, Allah swt"

For what it's worth?

"If I could cheat,
I would skip to the end,
And decide if it's worth going through with,
Skip to the last, paragraph, just before we start,
To see the happy ending, or the broken heart,
Happy ending, or the broken heart."

skip to the end - the futureheads

Deadly Moondance

O Beautiful Luna,
I suffer longingly for your unattainable love.
O How i have been pining for you,
With only glimpses that torment my view.

The chains that have kept us apart,
will soon been taken off.
Beyond solid iron bars and gates,
An unwilling captive of patience, I await.

O Beautiful Luna,
Play our tune, the real freedom song,
O How i will once again breathe you in,
For my soul has fittingly paid for it's sin.

Break these barriers that separates us,
To restore me upon my throne of nocturnal grandeur.
Paralyzing embrace of this deadly moondance,
Pull me in as i'm held in your enigmatic trance.

I am anticipating my true freedom but at the same time i am afraid i might be consumed by it like i was before my voyage of self-discovery. I am afraid i might fail myself again because without the restrictions that kept me in check, will i be able to remain the master of myself?