Silent Drinkers

Spent a couple of days away from home. I just wanted to be around wonderful people, maybe get a breath of air and numerous night drinking whatever alcoholic beverage i could afford/find. Just to stay in my constant beer haze so i could blabber the shittiest thing and yet sound like a genius.(whatever loser) So before the high wears off, i must post this.

You've got your fucking mind in a bloody mess when you're out with someone but you keep on thinking about somebody else. How do you escape something that's within you? How do you run away from yourself? The vines that keep wrapping itself around your tired legs. You keep on tripping, you keep on kissing the dirt. Anyone would be sick of that. Wouldn't you?
Fuck forever and hopes cause we won't ever get there. I've been almost there so many times and i just don't know what i'm doing wrong.
To make it much more screwed, i did believed that this time the specials would last. Growing up, making mistakes and becoming actual productive humans together until old age or death got to us.(no pun intended) This is the point where i fall back to hoping the crappiest unrealistic things when all i want right now is to stop hoping and let the gloom suck me into it's void. Leaving me to dwell on thoughts with a heightened awareness with the assistance of booze. Make me or Break me. Unleash me.(ok fine, i don't know what i want anymore because my life has taken ugly turns)